Who took away Our Innocence!!

Once, in our lives we are truly innocent! Completely blameless of anything but being adorable and innocent! When we are born! So, what happens after that? We are loved and cared for by doctors and nurses at the hospital, we go home to our loving parents to be showered with love; everything we need to grow up and join others in making our place in the world. Where does it all go wrong? I think it may have happened at birth.

First of all when you were born did the doctor spank you until you cried? Were you screaming your head off as you fought your way into the world; maybe you were one of those bashful babies that needed help making your way into this big scary world! Thank goodness we are too young to remember our birth. However you made your entrance, imagine what affects that entrance may have made on your future.

1. The doctor spanked you; what a rude start, to be slapped on your innocent little bottom, how’s that affect your future? You got slapped, you slap! See where we’re going here? I see a world champion boxer pretending your opponents are doctors, or my 4th grade teacher when I got caught chewing gum while staying in for chewing gum! Yep, pretty smart, wasn’t I? My doctor must have missed my bottom and whacked me on my head!

2. Let’s see, you came out screaming your head off. Oh yeh! Here’s a politician, activist or a coach teaching the finer points of sportsmanship to his team, they are always screaming. Or that one uncle that forgot more than both coaches know on football Saturday. Who invites him anyway?

3. Maybe you were the bashful baby coming into this scary world? Being a little shy is nothing to worry about, remember the tortoise beat the hare! We have a real thinker here, one of those quiet, intellectual types waiting for their Nobel Prize! Definitely not my style!

If we manage to get through the trauma of birth without being scarred for life then we face the rigors of training the parents. People making funny faces at us while talking one language to us and another to every body else. Are they teaching us a foreign language so they can send us away as soon as we learn it, start all over with another alien like us? How long can it take to learn to say “goo goo dada”? Might be best to test the waters for a while, see how we like it here before we show them our language skills; learn both languages but keep it to yourself! “Hey give me a break over here Gram and Gramps are spitin’ all over me again,” in their language would get action quicker than “goo goo dada”! They get all excited at the dripping spittle on your chin thinking, “The little darling is teething again”. You might need to use their language and save having your mouth being router routed by the giant teeth exploration team. Again!

Yep, best to learn both languages and keep silent about it. They’re never sure they heard what they think they heard anyway we just can’t be that smart! Right!

How about the gray haired, wrinkled, ones who keep pinching your cheeks until yours are redder than theirs; while saying oh, what a cute fat baby, just look at all those fat wrinkles. Feeling self-conscientious yet? Their red cheeks wash off, yours’ have to wear off! Might as well start our fat complex out young; give us something to work on.

Well, now aren’t we the lucky ones, learning two languages at such a young age. Learning to defend ourselves young and that being different is okay. Whatever this world hands us we will be ready to take it on or off. After all we were born naked in a roomful of strangers!






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